Archive for the ‘Comedy & Humor’ Category

I kill cactus. Yes, it’s true.
Not proud of it – It makes me blue
I cannot keep a plant alive
I bring them home – they take a dive!

With water, love & music too
I even killed my shoot o’ bamboo
I do not know why I am cursed
With furrowed brow and lips tight pursed

I try and try and try again
It is no use – I know. But then
I bought a ‘mater plant you see
And that had also died on me

So off i kicked it to the curb
And it grows wild just like an herb
I give in. I do not care
I’ve plastic plants tacked everywhere

Oh I kill cactus – yes I do
If you knew me you’d know it’s true.
Alas I’ve spent way too much time
So now I close this silly rhyme.

Originally posted February 6, 2014


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You know…

Bad sex for a woman is like having someone poke you in the arm over and over and over again in the very same spot.

After a while it gets really frikken irritating, you know?

So here I was at the supermarket and some asshole bumps into me.

Now I have to take a pregnancy test.  Sheesh!


As for guys…

Well, I’m not a guy but I have guy friends and most of them will tell you they’re just happy they’re getting some.

Women on the other hand…

We can go YEARS without it.

Yeah, at first we really miss it but after a while things just kind of dry up and we stop missing it.

After a while we just think sex is messy and not worth shaving our legs for.

Then we stop shaving our legs.


I should know.  I’m married.

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His name is Shawn and it’s the BEST weight I’ve ever dumped in my life.

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