Posts Tagged ‘Sex’

Having been married twice and in several varying length relationships in my 40-something years, I can’t say that I’m an expert in relationships but I can tell you that from my experience any long-term affair has to hit three distinct spots at the same time:

  1. Your O-zone Physical attraction is definitely important! You want to be compatible in the sack because sloppy sex is just bad – and who wants to stick around for that??? Okay, sometimes the first time with a partner is…not good because of nerves or whatever, but no one likes bad nooky on a regular basis. Are they paying attention to your O-zone at least once in a while? (And we’re not talking about the “honeymoon” phase when sex is like Adventures in Candy Land).
  2. Your Heart This is kind of a no-brainer but your partner has to give your heart a little skip. Love is important but it’s fickle. You have to LIKE the person too. Sure – you won’t like them ALL the time but more often than not you’re happy to see them. Or, perhaps, a random memory pops in your head and makes you giggle. Do you miss them when they’re not at your side? Your heart is the emotion so you want to listen to it – but it can’t be the only factor.
  3. Your Head If your partner isn’t stimulating your brain then what the heck are you going to talk about when the sex goes away? Do you have anything in common? Any shared interests? Something has got to get you through the drought periods in the relationship (and trust me – there are many) and being able to communicate with each other is definitely a key to relationship longevity.

Sex is good but after a while it kind of fizzles out and goes away. Emotions change so you can’t just go with your heart all the time. If you’re only attracted to their brain then you may as well shake hands and call them friend.

Husband #1 is the perfect example. He had my heart and o-zone but I had to “dumb it down” for him. We had nothing in common and when the kids started coming eventually he was getting his o-zone taken care of by someone else – which of course, killed my heart.  End of relationship.

For a long-lasting partnership you must have all three because one or two out of the three just won’t get you through the challenging times. I know.  I’ve been there.


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