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This was originally written on August 12, 2014.  A year has passed and I still feel the same way, though maybe not so brash now.  Time has since passed and I’m more saddened, I think.  Truth is: I miss him – his movies, his humor, his bipolar ways.  Anyway…  These were my thoughts from 2014.

~ Meredith

***

YOU ONLY NEEDED ONE MORE MOMENT

I hate to say this but I am PISSED OFF to hear about the apparent suicide of actor Robin Williams. I know he had problems – but we all do!

I have dealt with depression, anxiety, death in the family, Asperger’s, divorce, helplessness, hopelessness and any and whatever deep, dark, scary place you can think of. I’ve had days when my only goal was to shower and sometimes I couldn’t even accomplish that!

There were days when I wished my car would blow a tire and throw me over a ledge, or pray a lightning bolt struck me dead, or maybe I would trip in the path of an oncoming train. I’ve thought those things. I PRAYED FOR THEM. But I would NEVER go out of my way to do myself in.

I may be cheerful in my writing (sometimes) but I fight the dark – not every day – but I fight it back a lot!

I have known too many people – personally known these people – who have taken their own life.

Well… it’s SELFISH!

S * E * L * F * I * S * H

What makes them so special that they decide to give up this precious thing called life? It was a long battle? Damn right it is! But anything worth anything is worth fighting for!

Toss away a mother’s sacrifice of body, blood, and worry? They are only thinking about themselves. They cannot look beyond the dark and know that there are people who CARE. Who want to be there for them. Who indeed ARE THERE for them.

There’s no reset button once you end your life! Sometimes the only thing you can do is hold on long enough for one more moment. Just ONE! It could be the ONE thing or moment that saves you – the ONE thing that brings life and hope back to your dark world. But if you cut your life short you will never know it, feel it, touch it, taste it. Why? Because you’re gone.

My dad would have given ANYTHING to live out the rest of your given days, Robin Williams. But cancer took him away. What was your excuse?

So, I could write a tribute – an obituary – an ode to Robin Williams. I am not going to because I’m pissed, Robin Williams, that you gave up and couldn’t hold out for one more moment.

Another death to add to this day in History, August 11, 2014

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